don't know where to start

i guess it's not a great sentiment that i'm starting off annoyed. for whatever reason, that has been a dominant emotion, tied to "why does this type of sh*t" only happen to me and how come in spite of my efforts to function as a normal person, things don't go smoothly.

Short list of annoyances for the week:
-Peggy from Dr. Katz not being able to submit my claim online and needing the paper form version
-Marsha from care.com not being helpful at all with my leave process, and directing me to the brochure that she scanned over to me
-Brian ordering food from tender greens and door dash/tender greens getting my order wrong (just my order, mind you. everyone else's order was fine)
-Peggy telling me that my c-section for next wed the 19th was already cancelled and that I'm only on the books for this friday
-Having fasting blood sugar levels still in the 90s during this week
-Not having enough dedicated time with the boys this week during their spring break
-The house being in a perpetual state of disarray and disorganization; falling asleep at night when i have a list of things that i feel like i need to do/finish, and me being terribly clumsy and dropping half the items i intend to put away/clean up

I supposed this is related to me not having a sense of control over my life and also being related to not feeling like i have much control over the big change of having this next baby on friday. If i can't even control the little things, how am i able to control the big things? well, i guess i just can't. and does this mean that i should stop trying? my life if anything has been about effort and discipline.

If i were to change my mindset - i should have started this post with thoughts of gratitude. so to balance things out, here my short list of what i'm grateful for:
-we were able to celebrate musubi's birthday in st. helena this year, and brian booked me an amazing spa treatment at meadowood
-dylan made the sweetest card for musubi for his birthday and shared his story with various shop owners/workers downtown
-my parents are going to drive up this weekend, so dad is coming too to meet baby
-evan making his serious face, doing his martial dance to ninja music
-dylan making good progress with his piano lessons
-the boys being pretty sweet with baby, singing songs, touching and kissing my belly

just met Anton's parents when i dropped off dylan at one of his few playdates at someone else's house. they have 4 kids and she's in amazing shape and looks so young. I'm feeling old, unprepared, unsure about the sterilization procedure during the c-section, but to end on a positive note - still grateful that I'm pregnant.