it's another year, and i don't think i'll ever be on the other side of grief. brian sent me the link to that feature on yahoo homepage about photographers donating their talents to families such as ours. the organization is called asilaymedowntosleep.org. i still don't think that i could share the same attitude as the father who was featured. he was just so positive and happy about the outcome. i don't think i'll ever get there. or as dylan would say "absolutely not."
i didn't get musubi anything this year, and we didn't get to take our family retreat, but i did take the day off, ran some life errands, had a personal training session, had lunch with b at john bentley's, had a spa appt, picked up d from preschool and met b and d at burgess for his soccer class. i wanted to have family weekend this past weekend, but b was ill. i do have this odd relationship with my body. i wouldn't call it a love/hate relationship, more like a dislike/hate relationship. i was staring at myself in the mirror today, looking at this vessel that has brought forth 2 amazing little boys, and let down 1 amazing, precious angel. i still don't know if i could ever forgive my body...although i know that path leads to no where positive.
evan is scooting around on his back and big belly. his skin is still really sensitive, and poor thing has a bump near his bunghole. we need to soak his bum in epsom salt and apply fungal cream to it 3Xs a day. i hope it gets better soon. he's not really taking to solid foods very well. so far he's turned down carrots, and is not a fan of avocados. he can somewhat dissolve a mum mum in his mouth, but is also effectively spitting out his oatmeal. not sure how we're going to transition him to more solids. he can still light up a room with his smile and his laugh.
both boys are going to music together now. dylan loves it and i believe evan is quite musical as well. he loves his maracas. dylan loves to listen to the radio and his 2 favorites are timber by keisha and pitbull and the song by pompeii, first discovered at mark liu's house. i think i'm also trying to influence his musical taste by introducing him to the justin timberlake song i'm loving right now: Not a bad thing.
loving all my boys and missing my musubi so much it hurts.
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Sunday, March 23, 2014
catch up
i still like staying up late, with my boys sleeping near by. it makes me feel like i'm still on maternity leave. evan is still sleeping in our bed...and dylan is still in his crib. not sure when we're going to start making the transition to other options. i still have our europe trip as a goal to transition evan into the crib, but dylan needs to be out first. who knows.
i didn't get a chance to write about the trip down to socal before work. it was probably the longest trip for me to LA in a very long time. i'm always torn when i go back. it's great to see friends whenever possible, but it makes me sad to see our house so run down and old. the bedrooms are drafty, the bathrooms need to be updated, i mean dad has clear duct tape holding the paint together in the downstairs bathroom. it makes me sad. but it's so nice for the boys to spend time with puo-puo and gong-gong, and i'm sure they like to be in their own element. dylan was a little bit sick prior to the trip, and successfully contaminated the entire family. evan was sick (his case was pretty mild), i became sick, but my parents (mom who was sick earlier from dylan) had it the worse, along with brian. dad had a high fever and went to the doctor, a few days in, but had a lingering cough for weeks. Brian seemed sick for almost a month as well, finally going to kaiser to get some meds near the the end of Feb. we stayed in san diego for an extra night to let my parent's recover.
highlights:
-wandering through target with kathy and christine, after meeting for dinner and picking up some coffee
-visiting with Cindy at her home in seal beach
-experiencing legoland with the boys
-model train museum
low-lights:
-everyone becoming sick
-dylan not into the zoo that much, and getting fixated with the train outside the park
-dylan melting down at the scripps aquarium (at lunch, and then not wanting to wash his hands afterwards)
-the westin at the gaslamp district (a bit too urban for my taste, with the concierge eyeing vagrants coming into the hotel to watch the superbowl)
everyone was sick and low-energy the last few days of my leave. it was all pretty mellow and low key, which was i guess ok. i focused on getting rest and working out. losing this weight is a full time job, which of course is interrupted with my full time job. and that will be another post.
i didn't get a chance to write about the trip down to socal before work. it was probably the longest trip for me to LA in a very long time. i'm always torn when i go back. it's great to see friends whenever possible, but it makes me sad to see our house so run down and old. the bedrooms are drafty, the bathrooms need to be updated, i mean dad has clear duct tape holding the paint together in the downstairs bathroom. it makes me sad. but it's so nice for the boys to spend time with puo-puo and gong-gong, and i'm sure they like to be in their own element. dylan was a little bit sick prior to the trip, and successfully contaminated the entire family. evan was sick (his case was pretty mild), i became sick, but my parents (mom who was sick earlier from dylan) had it the worse, along with brian. dad had a high fever and went to the doctor, a few days in, but had a lingering cough for weeks. Brian seemed sick for almost a month as well, finally going to kaiser to get some meds near the the end of Feb. we stayed in san diego for an extra night to let my parent's recover.
highlights:
-wandering through target with kathy and christine, after meeting for dinner and picking up some coffee
-visiting with Cindy at her home in seal beach
-experiencing legoland with the boys
-model train museum
low-lights:
-everyone becoming sick
-dylan not into the zoo that much, and getting fixated with the train outside the park
-dylan melting down at the scripps aquarium (at lunch, and then not wanting to wash his hands afterwards)
-the westin at the gaslamp district (a bit too urban for my taste, with the concierge eyeing vagrants coming into the hotel to watch the superbowl)
everyone was sick and low-energy the last few days of my leave. it was all pretty mellow and low key, which was i guess ok. i focused on getting rest and working out. losing this weight is a full time job, which of course is interrupted with my full time job. and that will be another post.
6 months
hard to believe that evs had his 6 months check up this week. he was 17 lbs 10 oz (50 %tile) and 90%tile height, but i don't think brian brought back his print out home after the appt. i had to leave the appt before it was over to get back to the office by 930ish for a meeting. sad.
evan is still a bundle of joy - a little giggling rolly polly. his top right tooth is coming in, and we're just about to start solids. we have the rice cereal, but i haven't picked out a good outfit for him to be on camera/video to record the moment.
dr kleary is leaving menlo clinic to work for a boutique practice that offers 24/7 care so that she can be more present for her boys. i am happy for her, but a little sad for the rest of us. it was again a reminder of how she's in an occupation that lends itself to more work/life balance. i need to keep in mind my ability to work on a marketable/transferable skill set for possible consulting work down the road. bridget is having such a hard time back-filling cathy on maternity leave, that having a backfill gig for bridget would be nice...if i knew my fertile future.
i still stare at evan and wonder if he's going to be it. i'm still not sure...and the more difficult it is to loose this post-partum weight, the more daunting becoming pregnant again seems. i'm about 132 now, still about 5-10 lbs from where i want to me. i feel like it's been about 5-10 lbs for the last few months. getting below 130 will be a good milestone, although my body composition is so different these days. my gut is so protrusive and im pretty sure my butt is flattening away, making the stomach distortion even worse. good to know my body dysmophia is still in full effect. i have to say the i've become less enthralled with dailey method, and prefer personal training and soul cycle instead. now 1 hour workouts seem way too long and not as effective.
dylan is as active and as inquisitive as ever. constantly saying "Watchu talk'n 'bout baba". he's pretty good about wearing underwear, and letting us know when he needs to go to the bathroom. today he asked to go to the bathroom at cooking papa, and told b that he was going "big boy style". he's now forward facing in the car, and quite the little music connoisseur, liking Justin Timberlake and one direction. it's pretty funny that he'll ask me what song is on the radio, and then he'll tell brian in the car. he's been bitten a few times in preschool now, which is unnerving, and i'm a little nervous about his preschool trial playdate this week at cornerstone. i hope we both like the place.
last week we went to spring training. in spite of the apparent food poisoning, the spa day was quite nice, capped off with a nice meal at don and charlie's. poor brian got sick when we got home, and now mumford it sick too. i think b was pretty stressed during the trip, trying to manage the logistics. i hope he had fun. it was good to see juice and go out with friends (terry, noel, and anson) for a night. no shopping for me (the rack was a bomb)...no time and not quite satisfied with my body composition. strangely enough i only went to 1 game, and felt like i could have gone to 1 more.
evan is still a bundle of joy - a little giggling rolly polly. his top right tooth is coming in, and we're just about to start solids. we have the rice cereal, but i haven't picked out a good outfit for him to be on camera/video to record the moment.
dr kleary is leaving menlo clinic to work for a boutique practice that offers 24/7 care so that she can be more present for her boys. i am happy for her, but a little sad for the rest of us. it was again a reminder of how she's in an occupation that lends itself to more work/life balance. i need to keep in mind my ability to work on a marketable/transferable skill set for possible consulting work down the road. bridget is having such a hard time back-filling cathy on maternity leave, that having a backfill gig for bridget would be nice...if i knew my fertile future.
i still stare at evan and wonder if he's going to be it. i'm still not sure...and the more difficult it is to loose this post-partum weight, the more daunting becoming pregnant again seems. i'm about 132 now, still about 5-10 lbs from where i want to me. i feel like it's been about 5-10 lbs for the last few months. getting below 130 will be a good milestone, although my body composition is so different these days. my gut is so protrusive and im pretty sure my butt is flattening away, making the stomach distortion even worse. good to know my body dysmophia is still in full effect. i have to say the i've become less enthralled with dailey method, and prefer personal training and soul cycle instead. now 1 hour workouts seem way too long and not as effective.
dylan is as active and as inquisitive as ever. constantly saying "Watchu talk'n 'bout baba". he's pretty good about wearing underwear, and letting us know when he needs to go to the bathroom. today he asked to go to the bathroom at cooking papa, and told b that he was going "big boy style". he's now forward facing in the car, and quite the little music connoisseur, liking Justin Timberlake and one direction. it's pretty funny that he'll ask me what song is on the radio, and then he'll tell brian in the car. he's been bitten a few times in preschool now, which is unnerving, and i'm a little nervous about his preschool trial playdate this week at cornerstone. i hope we both like the place.
last week we went to spring training. in spite of the apparent food poisoning, the spa day was quite nice, capped off with a nice meal at don and charlie's. poor brian got sick when we got home, and now mumford it sick too. i think b was pretty stressed during the trip, trying to manage the logistics. i hope he had fun. it was good to see juice and go out with friends (terry, noel, and anson) for a night. no shopping for me (the rack was a bomb)...no time and not quite satisfied with my body composition. strangely enough i only went to 1 game, and felt like i could have gone to 1 more.
Saturday, March 15, 2014
so sick and not pregnant
it's strange to be throwing up and have it not be associated with a pregnancy. well this is me, sitting in my underwear in the dark with the curtains drawer, with a sore stomach and a wrecked GI tract. we're in scottsdale now, for spring training, and i'm pretty disappointed that i had to skip out on the game. did not want to risk getting sick, from either end at the ballpark. evs is with me tossing and turning, and look, he just rolled over!
the official roll over date was about March 4, but he has progressively become rollier as the week went on by! he is so cute! ok, must attend to the snuggle bunkers now.
the official roll over date was about March 4, but he has progressively become rollier as the week went on by! he is so cute! ok, must attend to the snuggle bunkers now.
Monday, February 17, 2014
snuggle bunkers
he sort of sat up for a little bit (he does have a cute stable base) before he tipped over. he was smiling the entire time. he is SOOOO cute!
dylan received a ribbon from his swim class this weekend. he was so excited, but he was even more excited for his new cars beach towel from costco. he wanted to watch the dryer as he waited for his towel to dry.
dylan received a ribbon from his swim class this weekend. he was so excited, but he was even more excited for his new cars beach towel from costco. he wanted to watch the dryer as he waited for his towel to dry.
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
the list
so it's my last day of maternity - another run for the "best days of my life". it was pretty amazing. brian said he was proud of me for what I accomplished. thought i would lay out my initial list.
completed:
get peanut's art framed:
hang evan's picture in the nursery
clean/organize office
buy twin mattress, furniture, and sheets
go to carmel and take the boys to the aquarium
read 5 books: the heart of a woman; where the heart is; parenting without borders; unconditional parentings; simplicity parenting *i think i finished this
lose 20+ lbs.
sign dylan and evan for classes
LA/Oregon/NY/Hawaii trip
fix the tv/av issue
train annie
go to the dentist
berkeley day
juice photography session
portola valley storytime
dream drawer organization
kids clothing organization
CD/DVD organization
touch up paint
update trust/will
still TBD:
hang peanut's art piece in the bathroom, as well as his bootie photograph
set up dylan's room
complete dylan's baby book
evan's baby book
plan 40/70/40 bday trip
complete 2 art projects
grocery/meal planning
childproof the house
stanford events/classes
livermore outlet
gilroy gardens
shoe closet organization
What i'm most proud of is i feel like just within the last week of so, my relationship with dylan has improved. we can have lengthly conversations in mandarin, and the other day he pretended that the banana was a cell phone, said his name was dylan and that he's bilingual. that is what is one of more heart-breaking aspects about going back to work tomorrow.
yesterday was a special day with dylan, as i took him to music class (very underwhelming at the menlo community center), went to keplers to read a book, and then took the train to meet brian for lunch. he was so excited about taking the train. he still talks about it, about how we rode the train 2 times, about how the train i take the work has stripes, and how the train we took yesterday didn't have stripes. i will remember this day for the rest of my life.
and then there is evan - my snuggle bum, full of love and light. i've been feeding him skin to skin recently and i make sure to give him his full body massage after this baths. i just can't believe that i won't be able to snuggle with him whenever I want to. my last today was pretty productive: dailey method, went to target to return bedsheets and xmas gifts, bought D some cars plates/cups/utencils for Vday, took a soul class, got my juicery, went to sign the trust documents, bought D some Vday candy, went to dragers, packed away my maternity clothes, taught annie how to make the salmon, went for my final walk with evan in the neighborhood. every day this week has been rather emotional. maybe psychologically i'm trying to brace myself for the worst, so that my future reality won't be that bad. Or maybe I'm just completely obsessed with spending time with my boys.
i need to sign off for my last snugs/feed with evan. tearing up already.
Note: need to write about my trip to socal
completed:
get peanut's art framed:
hang evan's picture in the nursery
clean/organize office
buy twin mattress, furniture, and sheets
go to carmel and take the boys to the aquarium
read 5 books: the heart of a woman; where the heart is; parenting without borders; unconditional parentings; simplicity parenting *i think i finished this
lose 20+ lbs.
sign dylan and evan for classes
LA/Oregon/NY/Hawaii trip
fix the tv/av issue
train annie
go to the dentist
berkeley day
juice photography session
portola valley storytime
dream drawer organization
kids clothing organization
CD/DVD organization
touch up paint
update trust/will
still TBD:
hang peanut's art piece in the bathroom, as well as his bootie photograph
set up dylan's room
complete dylan's baby book
evan's baby book
plan 40/70/40 bday trip
complete 2 art projects
grocery/meal planning
childproof the house
stanford events/classes
livermore outlet
gilroy gardens
shoe closet organization
What i'm most proud of is i feel like just within the last week of so, my relationship with dylan has improved. we can have lengthly conversations in mandarin, and the other day he pretended that the banana was a cell phone, said his name was dylan and that he's bilingual. that is what is one of more heart-breaking aspects about going back to work tomorrow.
yesterday was a special day with dylan, as i took him to music class (very underwhelming at the menlo community center), went to keplers to read a book, and then took the train to meet brian for lunch. he was so excited about taking the train. he still talks about it, about how we rode the train 2 times, about how the train i take the work has stripes, and how the train we took yesterday didn't have stripes. i will remember this day for the rest of my life.
and then there is evan - my snuggle bum, full of love and light. i've been feeding him skin to skin recently and i make sure to give him his full body massage after this baths. i just can't believe that i won't be able to snuggle with him whenever I want to. my last today was pretty productive: dailey method, went to target to return bedsheets and xmas gifts, bought D some cars plates/cups/utencils for Vday, took a soul class, got my juicery, went to sign the trust documents, bought D some Vday candy, went to dragers, packed away my maternity clothes, taught annie how to make the salmon, went for my final walk with evan in the neighborhood. every day this week has been rather emotional. maybe psychologically i'm trying to brace myself for the worst, so that my future reality won't be that bad. Or maybe I'm just completely obsessed with spending time with my boys.
i need to sign off for my last snugs/feed with evan. tearing up already.
Note: need to write about my trip to socal
Thursday, January 30, 2014
N.E.T - N.E.V. part II
not even enough time in the previous posts to write about the 2 other vacations I'm planning. the big 40/70/40 trip, and also our trip to Martha's Vineyard in August. Excited that we have these trips to look forward to. i have to say, one of the key reasons of going back to work is to fund our fun fund.
keeping it real in the near term, we still have to finalize san diego this weekend. I hope procrastination isn't genetic.
keeping it real in the near term, we still have to finalize san diego this weekend. I hope procrastination isn't genetic.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)