and then there was evan

how time has flown by. we just took evan to his 1 month check up yesterday. weighing in at 10 lbs. 15 oz, 22 inches and a head circumference of 38.5cm, we are raising a bruiser. he was 7 lbs 15 oz at birth and 20 inches when he was born. It was a scheduled c-section on the the 18th. we had to be at the hospital by 6:30am, with my c section scheduled at 8:30. it was surreal again, driving to cpmc in the dark, arriving at the hospital and checking in. Nothing really hit me, and it all didn't seem real until about the time they wanted to give me my spinal injection. At that point, it started to hit me that i was about to have major surgery and that this baby was about to be born. I started to have paranoid thoughts about what if the spinal didn't work, i started to fear the pain before, during and after the surgery. I tried to remind myself that worrying about it wasn't going to change anything and that i needed to focus on having a healthy baby.

the actual c

the delivery of the baby only took about 8 minutes. the tugging of my innards was the strangest sensation, one that was disturbing and strong, more psychologically painful than physically painful. i was squeezing the hell out of brian's hand and was not too entertained or distracted by the anesthesiologist's small talk and the other surgeon's discussion on the metric system and why the british drive on the left side of the road. brian was able to do the honors to announce the sex of the baby, and it took him awhile to announce that it was boy! i was a little surprised, but not really. he had a really high apgar score 9/10 and they put him on my chest. I remember waiting to hear him cry and it taking longer than anticipated. i was surprised that i had an almost 8 lbs baby! they took him to get cleaned off and measured, and brian went with him, and i was being sewn or more like glued back together. we reunited back into the holding room until i was transferred back into the antepartum room.

post c

i remember my vision being distorted. my near vision was ok, but i couldn't focus very well on anything in the distance. i was seeing double. and the itching...oh the itching. It's a pretty common side effect, but i was so uncomfortable. i had a catheter in me, which was also strange, and I couldn't eat anything for 24 hours, until i passed gas. i was so out of sorts that it didn't really matter. i was taking ibuprofen, colace, narco for the pain. i started breastfeeding right away, and he was a less of a chomper, but had the smallest latch...not good for my nipples. brian stayed with me wed night, went home thursday night, and stayed with me friday and saturday. Dylan was a little sick, so it was super stressful to have him visit. he was all over the place, and of course touching everything, and we wanted him to feel like he was part of the experience, but overall was pretty stressful. evan gave him a building/car set which he liked. over the course of my stay, brian's parents came to visit twice, mom, dad, aunt caroline and uncle james, and belinda came to visit, as well as sam. it was difficult to move about, but i tried to get up to walk a little bit after i started eating. it was painful to wander the halls, but i had to do it. what was most difficult was the first poop (more on that later)

we didn't have a name for evan until the sunday morning, the day we left the hospital. top names were tyler, and evan. brian liked ethan, but i have negative associations with the ethan i knew growing up. it was strange to be in the hospital for so long (wed - sunday). it was a strange combination of the familiar mixed in with the new. knowing a little bit about breast-feeding, but still needing support from the lactation consultants. the familiarity of having a newborn, but dealing with the recovery from the c-section, vs natural labor. holding a baby that sometimes looks like dylan when he's sleeping, and sometimes looks totally different. big differentiating factors are his football shaped head, and the irony of not having a chin, but having double chins. difficulty taking a shower, but this time needing to use hazard tape/plastic to cover the incision to prevent it from getting wet. swaddling the baby, but this time learning the new football swaddle. the nurses were overall great, and one even knit a little blue cap for evan. everything was pretty painful, including the catheter removal, and i think i had some sort of skin reaction to the tape on the left side of my gigantic deflated belly. again, i wasn't prepared for how big i would be post-partum, or how vain i would be about it, for that matter.i would nurse and the uterine cramps would be "something else". i described it as having my uterus being a washing machine, and the pain being equivalent to boulders and cacti being put on spin cycle in the washer. it was all somewhat of a blur. like this hospital purgatory before real life smacks you upside the head.

sunday

originally brian was going to stay at home sat and bring dylan with him to pick me up, but we didn't exactly know when i would be discharged and dylan was still sick, so brian ended up staying with me saturday night. it was nice to have him there. it also was different knowing that dylan was at home, and we were all in the hospital. it was nerve-wracking, bringing a newborn home and having a sick toddler at home. dylan's nose was runny for almost 2 weeks! we were all packed up and ready to go, and was just waiting for dr. katz to do his final exam on me. evan had a little heart murmur that resolved itself, passed the hearing test, and had his circumcision and although his weight was down to 7 lbs. 2.5 oz, he had shown that he was on the upswing so he was cleared to go home as well. we put on his newborn outfit, his cap, took a few pictures, and just like that, we busted out of there and headed home.